Four Simple Ways To Have More Friends

You’re going to need a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a box of rosè.

Maybe you moved to a new city during a pandemic (like me!) or you had your social life turned upside down by a devastating divorce (also like me!). No matter the reason, if you’re feeling lonely and you want to be more connected here are four simple things you can do to have more high-quality friendships.

1. Focus on quality time.

Jeffrey Hall, a professor of Communications Studies at the University of Kansas, found that it takes about 50 hours of interaction for someone to move from acquaintance to a casual friend, about 90 hours to move from a casual friend to a friend, and about 200 hours to move from a friend to a best friend.

Simply put, the more quality time you spend with someone, the closer you’ll become. Some of us get so busy we don’t think about all the things we do alone that we could do with other people, all the while missing an opportunity for friendship to grow.

As a single guy, how many Friday nights did I spend alone cooking a fabulous meal I could have easily shared with someone had I just taken the time to see who wanted to come to dinner? Or go to the gym? Or go for a hike? Sometimes we get lost feeling like nobody wants to hang out…